Ordained

"Lord, if ordination is something you want me to pursue," I prayed, "then make it clear." As I stood to sing the closing hymn at the ordination service tears began to fill my eyes. Joyful emotions in part because the act of confirming ones call to ministry is moving; there is a sense of being apart of a sacred ceremony (much like a wedding), and other mournful emotions as I realized my own longing to have the special recognition of my personal call to ministry. My heart is saddened when I contemplate the belief that as a female, the Christian tradition that God used to bring about my faith, the tradition that nurtured my faith, even educated my faith practices, will never affirm my calling to preach my faith to others in the same way they will a man. Most of the time, I am satisfied in knowing that God is using me as he does my brothers in Christ, to shepherd young people in their walk with Him. It is God who calls and equips, ultimately. Yet, I struggle to understand why churches still hold to the belief that ordination is for men alone. Considering the sacrifices I have made to minister where God has called me to and the legacy in which he has already blessed me, I sense the injustice that a majority in my beloved denomination practices by withholding a blessing upon numerous ministers, called and equipped by the Spirit, simply because they have the wrong genitalia. It's not fair and scripture is not clear either way. Observing how Christ often went against cultural norms as he treated women with respect and identified women as a vital part of his ministry, I believe that he would honor and recognize females who serve him today in equal fashion as that of their male counterparts.

I won't put forth my entire argument for the ordination of women in this particular post, but I do have such an argument. All too often I choose to refrain from expressing it because I love my church tradition and not being ordained has yet to limit the scope of my ministry of sharing the gospel. I will, however, continue the story of my evening - actually skipping to the end!

After a dinner at the church, swing dancing at another church, beers at a hotel in Boston, I raced to catch the train before it pulled out of the Charles/MGH station. It was just after midnight, I was tired and I didn't want to wait for the next train. The car was packed so I stood near the doors, paying little attention to the crowd of young people until they got off at the next stop. As they exited one person asked another in the group, "Where are we going?" "I don't know, MIT, I think," was one guys reply. But I then heard a girl say, "I think we're going to the bathroom." This statement made me laugh aloud - primarily because it was late and things are way funnier after mid-night and two beers. A man stood in front of me and smiled at my laughter. He too had heard the girl and thought it a rather unusual statement. After a few comments shared about the crowd of kids, he pointedly asked, "What do you do?" It caught me by surprise, but I answered with my usual spiel about my work with high school students through the Christian mission of Young Life. He seemed interested so I continued to share about the dynamics of the kids I get to serve. When I asked what he did, he mentioned something about working in a cubicle. We shared a lot about each other in a short train ride and just as we entered the Porter Sq. station, he leaned over and said, "Does your organization take donations?" Before thinking, I smartly replied, "Yes, I don't know what non-profit doesn't. You can find us online at younglife.org." He then said, "Can I just give you the donation now?" With a look of surprise on my face as he pulled out his wallet, I smiled and said "Sure...but this is my stop." Hurriedly, he handed me a $20 bill. Baffled at what was happening, I muttered something about this being really nice and he doesn't have to do it. He then said, "It sounds like you're doing some great work." Still in a bit of shock, I stepped of the train, looked back and said, "So what's your name?" "Will" I gave my name, smiled, uttered the words, "God bless" before the doors of the train closed and I walked down the platform.

The rest of the way home, I praised God and thought about the ministry God has called me to and affirms on a daily basis. While it would be nice to have a certificate that says "ordained" framed and hanging on my wall, not having it doesn't hinder my ministry to teenagers and families. I will go where He sends me and in the end be satisfied in knowing I sought to be faithful to Christ over seeking the approval of man.

Time for Pics

This time of year, I look around at the trees and think, "oh, how I wish I could capture the brilliant colors of the leaves and hold on to their beauty all year long!" Now, I could pull out my new little green digital camera and take a few photos and have them sit on my computer for years to come, but what purpose would that serve. So, instead of taking pictures of the scenic view, I've taken photos of the amazing friends that I've spent time with this month.


Enjoy!

No Excuses

Okay, okay - only one post in the month of September...

"I've been busy!" No excuse - who isn't busy? Busy is esteemed high in our society.

"I've been out of town." No excuse - all the more reason to write about the adventures of being here, there, and everywhere.

"I've been tired." No excuse - watching three hours of television most nights (NCIS marathon) and then staying up late to watch highlights on Baseball Tonight can account for the lack of sleep.

"I've been lazy." No excuse - although closer to the truth, Proverbs 13:4 states, "the soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, but the soul of the diligent is made fat."

"I've been consumed with thoughts." Somewhat of an excuse - this statement is very true; recently my mind has been engrossed with memories from the past, longing for what once was - friendships, relationships, opportunities, and activities. Of course, at times my mind is engaged in the present - tasks that must be done for the day, what I desire to accomplish by the end of the work week and how I'm going to pass the time over the weekend. Then there are those moments, more frequently these days, that I allow my mind to wander into visions of the future; longing to meet the man that will sweep me off my feet, hoping to have the means to travel to visit family and friends, knowing I need to obtain the financial resources to meet my most basic needs, praying that the Lord will give me the wisdom and discernment to know where He is leading and most of all, desiring to make an impact for the Kingdom of God in the hearts of those around me.

Please forgive me for not writing more often. As you can see, I have many excuses.

Some Thoughts on Youth Ministry

The past month my time has been filled with what I really enjoy - hanging out with teenagers. I think for most adults, spending time with anyone under the age of 18 is not on the top of their list of "favorite things", but for me, it excites me and reveals to me God's grace. Teenagers tend to be Real, at least when given the opportunity. Most of the time they say what's on their mind, if you'll listen and really hear what they're saying. If they don't like someone it will be revealed as soon as that person walks in the room. If they're not having fun, just wait until one of them gets a crazy idea. They're spontaneous! They like to laugh and be silly - often at the expense of someone else (but I try not to laugh unless that person is laughing too). For the most part, they aren't afraid to try new things and explore new thoughts. Teenagers can be serious and speak about what really matters in life.

As I look back over the past 15 years (yep, started working with youth my freshman year of college - almost exactly 15 years ago), the faces of so many teenagers come to my mind. Of course, most of them are now in the adult world - working full-time jobs, married, own a home, have a baby, etc. It's amazing and humbling to know that God allowed me to be apart of their lives - especially during the most formative years, when they were making decisions that directed their future.

This past month I've had the opportunity to get to know some new teenage friends. We laughed a lot as we hung out at Young Life camp. It was really awesome when some of them decided to begin a relationship with Jesus. Again, I'm humbled - knowing that it is God at work in them and not any of my own wisdom or persuasion. I'm also challenged - to nurture and encourage their faith, while sharing with the truth of what it looks like to be committed to Christ. I get excited as I think about where they will be in five years. Some of them will be serving in their church or even be a Young Life leader!

Sitting in my freshman dorm room, I blurted out to my dear friend and roommate, "what am I going to do with my life?" With great confidence she stated, "Sarah, your going to work with youth!" They way she said it, one would have thought that it was very obvious to her and it should have been to me too. Yet, it was a bit of a surprise to me, but it was a start of my journey in discovering what God had for me. I believe in her discernment and many other things over the years have affirmed her prophecy.

Youth ministry has a very special place in this world. Some day I will write a book about my adventures in youth ministry. Perhaps it will encourage other ministers. If nothing else, it will provide me with some good laughs and lots of tears (mostly of joy)! My heart is grateful to be called to such a vocation and I pray that I last another 15 years loving teenagers and sharing the truth of God's amazing love.

5 Years

I failed to acknowledge my blogiversary last month. It's been five years and one month since I first posted a message titled, "A few of my favorite things these days." In honor of that post and my tremendous accomplishment of not abandoning this blog, I will list again a few of my favorite things (some haven't changed):

Two cups of fresh ground coffee in the morning (black of course)

Long walks with Titus on the community path

Morning talks with neighbor/friend

Quiet time in the morning to listen to Christian music classics while reading my daily Bible passage

Talking to good ol' friends on the phone (even if it has been a long time)

Visiting the local dog park and watching Titus take off running

A large homemade frozen margarita

My little garden growing

Strolling up to Ball Square for a cup of ice coffee at True Grounds

Hanging out with a teenager as we talk about life and God's desire for her future

Being able to show up at Fenway Park on game day and getting a ticket (even if I only get SRO)

Receiving an unexpected donation to Young Life (no matter how big or small)

Five years later - it's summer again and life is good!

Morning Time Deep Chats

"So, I had a great day yesterday if for no other reason than I went to church." This was the report I received from my neighbor as we began our regular early morning walk/run today. Her comment surprised me and gave me great joy at the same time.

For the past several months I've been developing a friendship with her and her husband. Ever since they adopted a puppy, Titus and I have spent quality play time in their fenced-in backyard. I have spoken often of my church and the Christian outreach to teenagers for whom I work. She listened to my adventures with teens and heard all about my volunteer experiences through the church. She works for a non-profit that benefits children and their families, so I feel like we have that in common.

About a month ago, I invited her to start running with Titus and me each morning at 7:30. She hesitated but finally agreed that it would do her some good. To be perfectly honest, we don't run as much as I'd like, but I enjoy our conversation too much to quit. After a week or so the topic of church came up and she asked me what type of church I go to. She grew up Catholic and her husband was raised with no religion. She admitted to being a bit liberal, but I try not to focus so much on political beliefs when what really matters is Jesus. When I invited her to attend a service some Sunday, she said that she would like to but didn't think she could get her husband to go with her.

A few weekends went by with one or both of us being out of town, but Saturday night our paths crossed outside our homes. In the course of our conversation I mentioned that I was going to church in the morning and she was invited to come with me. She told me that she'd think about it. We continued our conversation and somewhat out of the blue she said, "I'll go with you." She was very excited and a bit anxious. I have forgotten what it's like to go some place new - where everyone else seems to know what's going on except for you. She was thrilled when our worship guide explained what we would do and why we did it. Her exact words were, "It helped me not feel like I wouldn't stand out." It makes me wonder how many people were scared away from church when my childhood congregation asked visitors to sit while everyone stood around them greeting them - what an intimidating "seat of honor"!

This morning our conversation focused more on my friend's journey of being badly hurt and becoming angry with God. Years of anger turned to indifference and then when she wanted to turn to God she asked, "How can I go back?" It is encouraging to see her now exploring the way back! I listened as we walked and prayed for God's grace to be evident. My friend is nervous that she won't fit in at the church because she is liberal, but she is eager to find a faith community. I encouraged her to concentrate on what matters most - belief in Christ and obedience to his teaching (mainly loving God, self and others).

I have come a long way from my judgemental high school days. Things use to be so black and white, but now I see a lot more gray. I lean more towards the left when it comes to acceptance of other people. My main concern is that others know Christ as Savior and that they experience forgiveness and grace. I have quit trying to fill the role of the Holy Spirit and allow him to convict and transform attitudes and opinions. I think the church should take a lesson from Jesus and be a community where sinners hang out only to have their lives changed dramatically causing them to risk everything to invite others in.

My neighbor spoke of our friendship, which is really a testimony of God's grace, as she commented, "I don't talk to anyone else about these things other than you. I feel like I can say what I'm thinking and not be judged or looked down upon. We have some deep conversations for 7:30 in the morning!"

She's right about it being a deep topic way early in the morning, but it starts my day off right - focused on God's work in this world - even if it is just next door to me.

Miss Independent

I sat at the kitchen table with my head in my hands - pouting. I'm ashamed to admit it now, but at the moment I wanted the world to know how terrible I felt. I had gone through my entire cell phone address list thinking of all the possibilities. I made a few calls and left several messages (trying not to sound desperate). Where was everyone? How could I possibly have allowed this to happen? The 4th of July is certainly a day to celebrate freedom and independence, but I don't think watching the countries largest fireworks display alone in a crowd of 10,000 would be very much fun. I struggled to admit that I had no one to hang out with for the evening.

One of my strengths is that I am an independent woman. One of my weaknesses is that I act way more independent than I really am. It has taken me a lot of years to be comfortable with this. I remember in college, I acted tough and made a bet with one of my guy friends that I could go into a restaurant and sit at a table all by myself for dinner. He accused me of not being able to do anything by myself. One evening, I heard that he and some buddies were eating at the local wing place. I showed up and asked the hostess to sit me close to their table - all by myself. When he noticed me, he snickered and after making some smart remarks about me being alone, invited me to join them. At first I wanted to stand my ground and prove him wrong. But of course, I caved! Who wants to eat out alone?

Since then, I've had to learn that occasionally, if i want to do something fun and interesting, I may just have to go it alone. I've visited beautiful parks and interesting museums by myself; enjoyed baseball games and festivals without someone by my side; and traveled miles by plane, bus, and car all by my lonesome. It has become a way of life, but for some reason this weekend I got mad about it. In typical pity party fashion, I complained that it wasn't fair! Why should I struggle to find a single friend to watch the fireworks with me? Grrr...

Then my phone gave a little jingle indicating a text message received. A friend! A friend asking if I wanted to join her and her friend to watch the fireworks! Yes! I'm rescued! I won't have to sit by myself and watch the amazing show in the sky or worse, stay home and view them on TV when they are just 3 miles from my house. It was a great night to celebrate America's birthday and the independence we enjoy. But for me, I realized just how much I need others in my life. I don't want to do it all alone!